Saturday, October 26, 2024

當時若為說卻,何有今日事也(廢墟花園團督)

(一)

下午提到 Rapproachement (註一),

我說,Rapprochement 是物理現象,

意思是說,往返,必須是物理的往返,

來訪者,來治療室,需物理的往返,才算真的 Rapprochement ,

(你的 self,就在無數次往返中形成)

(意思是說,在無數次往返中,你終於知道,你是誰)

(下午我說,物理現象,與地理相關,從內蒙到烏魯木齊,兩千公里,往返殊為不易,N 君遂少了練習 Rapprochement 的機會)

視訊治療,剝奪了物理的往返,遂剝奪了 Rapprochement,

(除此之外,視訊治療,也剝奪了等待,也剝奪了沈默)

物理的往返,你出門,開車,搭車,等車,車拋錨,搭錯車,等不到車,坐過站車,

你等待,你經過,你看到沿途,你突然想起,你突然知道,

簡單講,物理的往返,

讓你反芻,讓你 epiphany,

這時,你遂想起,香嚴智閒 (註二),

這是為什麼,治療者應避免,太快,太多,太自以為是,作詮釋的原因)

(如果你想造就香嚴智閒)

(二)

最後有人問到,N 君到底怎麼了,

昨天我說,這是一個坎陷歷史的問題,

意思是說,這非僅個人史,家族史,

是一整個時代的歷史,

四十三,和前一個,四十三,

今早(10/27/24),突然知道,四十三,就是改開四十三,

(三)

昨天亦提及,今日我們,只可能中短期治療,

短一年內,中至多二三年,

意思是說,短篇小說,和中篇小說,的規格,

遂車行,短篇小說,和中篇小說,所能走到的盡頭,

就算,所作已辦,為而不有,

一把鹽,送行流離,

上述,是說,我們今日,已無長篇小說,


註一,

Rapprochement: (14-24 months) At this point the child’s desire to achieve independence is marred by a fear of abandonment. Therefore, the child seeks to maintain proximity to the caretaker while engaging in exploration. This stage is essential to the development of a stable sense of self. This includes three sub- stages:

  • Beginning: The child returns to the caretaker in order to share experiences and excitement. There is an overarching felon of omnipotence and exuberance.
  • Crisis: The child recognizes his/her limitations versus the desire to be all powerful and self sufficient. The child is torn in choosing between physical and emotional proximity to the caretaker or independence. This stage is characterized by temper tantrums and helplessness and thus the need for emotional availability of the mother increases.
  • Solution: The child reaches a healthy medium between the two extremes due to language and superego development. If the crisis is not resolved well, there will be an increase in extreme clinging or shunning behaviour.*

註二,

鄧州香嚴智閑禪師,青州人也。厭俗辭親,觀方慕道。在百丈時性識聰敏,參禪不得。洎丈遷化,遂參溈山。山問:「我聞汝在百丈先師處,問一答十,問十答百。此是汝聰明靈利,意解識想,生死根本。父母未生時,試道一句看。」師被一問,直得茫然。歸寮將平日看過底文字從頭要尋一句酬對,竟不能得,乃自嘆曰:「畫餅不可充飢。」屢乞溈山說破,山曰:「我若說似汝,汝已後罵我去。我說底是我底,終不幹汝事。」師遂將平昔所看文字燒卻。曰:「此生不學佛法也,且作個長行粥飯僧,免役心神。」乃泣辭溈山,直過南陽睹忠國師遺跡,遂憩止焉。

  一日,芟除草木,偶拋瓦礫,擊竹作聲,忽然省悟。遽歸沐浴焚香,遙禮溈山。讚曰:「和尚大慈,恩逾父母。當時若為我說破,何有今日之事?」乃有頌曰:「一擊忘所知,更不假修持。動容揚古路,不墮悄然機。處處無蹤跡,聲色外威儀。諸方達道者,咸言上上機。」溈山聞得,謂仰山曰:「此子徹也。」