死在台灣

1. 半夜三點醒來

2. 把幾句話說清楚

3. 起因是為什麼看到

4. 韓國瑜旗山造勢場上

5. 把高雄還給我第一次不甘

6. 和那面小國旗千萬起舞

7. 會感動到激動

8. 2008-2016馬英九在位

9. 也有國旗

10. 卻不曾感動

11. 這件事要從文字和數字說起

12. 文字和文字的世界

13. 是我們在塵世的家

14. 我們的文字是中文

15. 中文和中文的世界

16. 是我們在塵世的家

17. 這件事我稱之為文化中國

18. 文化中國多災多難

19. 從秦始皇焚書坑儒一統帝國開始

20. 你可以說文化中國唯一一次嘉年華

21. 就是春秋戰國

22. 那個倔強的無家可歸的魯蛇孔子

23. 不過是那場嘉年華會的過客之一

24. 之後把他捧成一尊不過是帝王術謀略

25. 我之前說過

26. 中國特色就是秦後兩千多年莊家耍流氓賴著不走的輪迴

27. 逃不脫的被莊家屠宰收割的輪迴中的儒道釋

28. 出關的那頭青牛禪宗和尚宋元學案明儒學案

29. 就是一個又一個倔強的無家可歸的魯蛇的故事

30. 偏偏這些大地漂泊人物才是文化中國

31. 真正的文化中國

32. 這件事從清末民初迄今

33. 多災多難

34. 我今年十二月一日要用三個詞來說明這個多災多難

35.  The Historical Wilderness trapped in the shadows of Dragon Inn and the Chess Master  --  in the worlds of Yu-Hua, Mu Xin, and Chen Ying-Zhen


                      歷史的荒原 
                    一生所愛隱約  在白雲外
                                                

                         abstract

This essay aims to probe the quagmire of China (PRC) – Taiwan (ROC) history, in the past century, and now. Two novellas, The Chess Master (Ah Cheng, 1984), and Dragon Inn (Wang Wen-Hsing, 1967), are used as metaphors for this quagmire. And the works of three writers, Yu-Hua, Mu Xin, and Chen Ying-Zhen, are used to explicate the historical wilderness we, the Chinese and the Taiwanese, are facing now.

 

In this wilderness, identity politics, from both sides, collide harshly. After separating for 70 years (from 1949), we need time to know each other. Yet, we are running out of time. Some people say, war is coming, war is inevitable. Since Taiwan is the only beacon of hard-won democracy for CHINA, throughout its long history of monarchy for 2000  years, what the war will devastate is the hope of emancipation, for both the Chinese and the Taiwanese, to go beyond the shadows of the Dragon Inn, which was symbolic of that karmic cycle of never-ending autocracy.

The self is historical, and historical empathy grows out of the ashes of historical trauma. In the historical wilderness of ours, empathy is that rare moment of intersubjectivity, à la Brandchaft, or stranger’s kindness, à la Levinas. Empathy, or the intersubjective vision, is always a life choice, a decision, a determination, a responsibility. It is eclipsed oftentimes, in the historical darkness. We are still a long way away from home.

key words: dragon inn, historical wilderness, historical empathy, stranger’s kindness, identity politics, 暗夜行路 歸鄉猶遙,  intersubjectivity, emancipatory psychoanalysis

36. 三個詞就是

the historical wilderness: the quagmire of China-Taiwan history

CHINA before 1949: 1911 / 1937-1945 / 1945-1949

People’s Republic of China (China): 1949 / 1958-1961 / 1966-1976 / 1989 / 1992 / 2012 / 2017-2018

Republic of China (Taiwan): 1949 / 1987 / 1992 / 2000 / 2008 / 2017-2018

37.the historical wilderness: the quagmire of China-Taiwan history

• The controversy of the following three words explains the quagmire itself.

• CHINA means the “cultural China”, with its history of a way of life for thousands of years. The Qin Dynasty (秦朝, 221-207 BC) started CHINA’s long history of karmic cycles of never-ending autocracy.

• China (People’s Republic of China, PRC) means the China under the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) regime, in China Mainland, from 1949.

• Taiwan (Republic of China) means “the China” under the KMT (Kuomintang) regime, in Taiwan, from 1949. Democracy was finally born in 1987.

38.The controversy comes from collision of China’s Rise (中國崛起) in the last twenty years, and the Pro-Taiwan Independence (台獨) trend, promoted by DPP (Democratic Progressive Party) in Taiwan. The former thinks Taiwan belongs to it, the latter thinks they are two political entities and countries.

• The former thinks it is the inheritor of the “cultural China”, yet its 70 years of rule are not devoid of drastic destruction of that culture, including the infamous cultural revolution (1966-1976).

• The latter used to think it inherited that “cultural China”, via the diaspora with KMT to Taiwan, in 1949. But the PTI trend claims now that it has nothing to do with that cultural history. In other words, they are saying that the Taiwanese are not Chinese, even in the cultural sense.

• Thus, the quagmire is the collision of two political-correctness, which aggravated from May, 2016.

39.Who am I? What am I? Where do I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going? What do I die for?

• In this quagmire, one is forced to ask himself the above questions. There are myriad personal ways to answer it. One’s statement is nothing but his own thinking and judgment, based on his experience and vision.

• Now, this is exactly, why we should cherish the democracy in Taiwan, since democracy is the prerequisite for those myriad personal searches for one’s self.

• This belated historical gift belongs to CHINA, not only to Taiwan, but also to China.

40.以上是某個兩邊都不討好都不政治正確的歷史的讀法

41.但這個讀法打算捍衛台灣死在台灣

42. 剛剛說「這件事要從文字和數字說起」

43.數字是指甚麼

44.我今年六十二歲

45.你可以說我是一個倔強的無家可歸的魯蛇

46.起碼我這麼認為

47.目前檯面這些玩家們是我的同輩

48.你算算看

49.如果你今天二十五歲三十五歲四十五歲

50.你的同班同學宣稱他是天縱英才救世的立法委員市長政治局委員話事人

51.你會不會大笑

52.如果你會大笑

53.你就知道我為什麼會半夜起來寫下這些文字

54.最後說明那面旗

55.1937年10月28日夜間楊惠敏 (1915-1992) 將一面12尺長的中華民國國旗裹在身上所穿著的童軍服底下冒著戰火危險自公共租界出發成功泳渡蘇州河並獲得謝晉元的接見將國旗送至四行倉庫四十年後這件事被重新回憶 (八百壯士與我 楊惠敏述 張力行記 佛之光雜誌社 民國67) 2017年Aco找到這本她的祖父的書拿給我剛剛我找了一會沒有找到不知道放到那裡去了2018年11月這面旗重現高雄