MISTER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr-klro81rQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nzv-aDJFTo

velvet road (2012)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vTdG2Kl2zU

Noir Désir - Le Vent Nous Portera

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrgcRvBJYBE

the partisan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BGWx8hruUI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FP9ysygLmc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FySktztYEE8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RYy_8u4blk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S34cVkL6zCE

leonard cohen - going home

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFCqvsT3z7Y

leonard cohen - songs from the road

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jsNMXnwCiM

novemthree – embracing the storm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHXh_uEVopc

novemthree: this is my home

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1P1lWX59io

湛若水 (1466-1560)

https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E6%B9%9B%E8%8B%A5%E6%B0%B4

吳與弼 (1391-1469）

https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%90%B3%E8%88%87%E5%BC%BC

http://www.confuchina.com/10%20lishi/wu%20kangzhai.htm

陳白沙 (1428-1500)

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYEdmc5bWJNaDNSck0?usp=sharing

撕票風雲 (2010)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yL_Vgo20Cc

a very good one, seldom seen

洗碗工的告白

首先

洗碗工沒有甚麼好告白

所以題目不對

多年前跟蝦捲說巴黎有趣在

坐上計程車你永遠不知道

司機是不是哲學家

五年俄藍城居他們說

製造業大於服務業呢

意思是說服務業

還處於初級學徒

或高級拿翹階段

洗碗是製造業還是服務業

首先要說碗的歷史

這以後再說

我要說的是

碗是神聖的

尤其是乾淨的碗

一個人每天平均用五個碗

七十億人用三百五十億個碗

一雙手一分鐘可以洗幾個碗

下次你可以算算看

我說過這是數學題

不是哲學題

近日讀陳白沙
不知他的碗是誰洗的

流浪貓的流水席

楓 The Maples (1980) (鄭義 1979)

1966年，文化大革命的风暴骤起，青年学生卢丹枫、李红钢高举造反有理的大旗，热血沸腾地参加了红卫兵，投身在这场史无前例的运动中。卢丹枫与李红钢正在热恋着，但变幻莫测、来势迅猛的大革命却把这一对自同一面战旗下冲杀出来的恋人变成了你死我活的敌人，在极左路线影响下，他们各自参加了势不两立的红旗派和井岗山派。继夺权斗争之后的文攻武卫，使武斗逐步升级。身为红旗派作战部长的李红钢被井岗山抓获；丹枫设法放走了红钢，但事后又在谴责自己的不忠；逃生后的李红钢一面布置血洗井岗山的战斗，一面又在为坚守据点的卢丹枫担忧。要革命，还是要爱情，矛盾和痛苦在折磨着这 对青年人。一天黄昏，残酷的武斗开始。井岗山寡不敌众，形势危急。战友们的鲜血激起卢丹枫的仇恨，毅然向对面的李红钢开枪；身负重伤的李红钢仍率众猛冲，攻占了井岗山的高楼上的据点，并在顶层上堆积着尸体中找到了昏迷的卢丹枫。血战之后，在硝烟迷漫之中，恋人重逢，他们都坚定地劝对方投降，最后，绝望了的卢丹枫高举着井岗山的战旗，跳下主楼……卢丹枫死后，李红钢万念俱灰，他退出了组织，当了逍遥派。但是，严酷的斗争并未能放过他。两年后，井岗山掌了权。李红钢作为逼死卢丹枫的反革命凶手，被处以枪决。光阴荏苒，文化大革命已成过去。但血的教训必须记取，这样的历史决不允许重演！  
http://99lib.net/book/473/index.htm

一部被遗忘的《枫》 （1980年）

7，8岁的时候，爸爸带我看的，这也是我小时候看过的最惊心动魄，也是最发人深省的一部难得的优秀影片，其中片尾最后卢丹枫跳楼的镜头太震撼了。

影片结尾，女孩问爸爸：“他们是英雄吗？是烈士吗？”爸爸回答——“不是，他们是历史”

记得当年电影散场后，所有的大人都是沉默的退出影院，但是我清楚的记得他们所有人眼角的泪痕

早在张艺谋等第四代，第五代导演还未出现之前，很多表现手法就已经出现在该片了，可惜这部中国电影史上最具里程碑的影片，多年来一直被讳莫如深，但是所有经历过那个年代，或者有印象的老影迷，都不曾忘记，在1980年曾有过这样一部叫做——《枫》的影片。    

http://group.mtime.com/13930/discussion/497925/


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8AHIA5YzrE

http://i.mtime.com/ryblur/blog/1845716/

https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E9%84%AD%E7%BE%A9_(%E4%BD%9C%E5%AE%B6)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5viXpvvYMYESFhjSUJFWERjTTQ/view?usp=sharing  (不確定是否有遺漏)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5viXpvvYMYEOVk3NXg1RHl2TzA/view?usp=sharing

Forgotten Backyard - Constructions Near Death

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAe8dKX5Z_8

先生自序為學云：「僕年二十七，始發憤從吳聘君學，其於古聖賢垂訓之書，蓋無所不講，然未知入處。比歸白沙，杜門不出，專求所以用力之方，既無師友指引，日靠書冊尋之，忘寐忘食，如是者累年，而卒未有得。所謂未得，謂吾此心與此理未有湊泊吻合處也。於是舍彼之繁，求吾之約，惟在靜坐。久之，然後見吾此心之體，隱然呈露，常若有物，日用間種種應酬，隨吾所欲，如馬之御銜勒也；體認物理，稽諸聖訓，各有頭緒來歷，如水之有源委也。於是渙然自信曰：『作聖之功，其在茲乎！』

張東所敘先生為學云：「自見聘君歸後，靜坐一室，雖家人罕見其面，數年未之有得。於是迅掃夙習，或浩歌長林，或孤嘯絕島，或弄艇投竿於溪涯海曲，捐耳目，去心智，久之然後有得焉，蓋主靜而見大矣。由斯致力，遲遲至二十餘年之久，乃大悟廣大高明不離乎日用，一真萬事，本自圓成，不假人力，無動靜，無內外，大小精粗，一以貫之。」

自然之樂，乃真樂也，
宇宙間復有何事？

   白沙成學，可分為三個階段：一是靜中養出端倪，二是隨處體認天理，三是以自然為宗。                 

       《明學探微》林繼平著，台灣商務印書館發行，一九八四年十二月初版。頁四十四。

Hurricane Sound On The Beach

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_kc_VR30VI

The Good the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1PSF_d8SOM

china watch / taiwan watch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpKA8mJ23s4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fa2styxEag

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tm8Ux-gdc8

Ananda Krishna Röösli - Hang & Didjeridoo - Lisbon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAxwRPbDw3k

keeping the wild

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUXf1TDEuFM&index=1&list=RDhUXf1TDEuFM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnGCmZkh7n4

Keeping the Wild: Against the Domestication of Earth, ed. by George Wuerthner, et al., Foundations for Deep Ecology 3, 2014 (accessible via scribd)

le chant du Loup

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfOrplg80MM

windy

well, i told you before, it's fucking WINDY here, 11/28 double bind, 12/3 CR fifty years later, 11/21 SP etc, 12/26 Dilthey, 12/28 DSM-V, 12/29 back to NATURE, 1/18 dinner, 1/27 lunar new year eve, the decision, in the spring, 鮮釀白啤酒, what the hell is that,  OT 開缺,  Feb-June 2017 FJU,  July 2017 dementia day care, now,   我一字一句   告訴你   這一切     沒有意義,   "有趣"的是     儘管如此     life goes on, as usual     重要的是     "有趣"兩字      一切       是從這裡開始的     依此       Alfried Langle講的      正是重新破壞      Viktor Frankl已經破壞五十年的       那個"有趣"     依此       我不同意 Mick Cooper      存在治療前景非此      人類所謂文明      不過屁孩       拆屋建屋      拆了又建      建了又拆       有點像婊子脫褲      脫了又穿     穿了又脫     what we do here, is not meant to endure     我先前說過      意思是說       脫褲洗澡應是讓人感動的重大決定       老古說       三十年一次剛剛好      文西說      沒錯      你看      整本宮本武藏      他只洗了一次澡      

sleepy cello is better than stilnox

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cCZoxboF5s

a long long winter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMfB1REALp4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eILoQChD_A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T31CHzxjd4s

cry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mnhr7wn0noE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDI2tVSlAcw

cold

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUZeSYsU0Uk

abandoned castles and forgotten temples

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwToTZc9qOk&list=RDkgDnoKm2mYY&index=10

last sounds before total chaos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgDnoKm2mYY

apparently, we all must die, twice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jJmWGSuCgU

we all must die

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE1MPLOr9_k

Some will perish like withered leaves Others will rot like fallen fruit Still more will never ripen We all must die Death is what creates life It gives meaning to our growth Contrasting our shortening days We all must die To dwell upon our death brings A burden, it grows heavier and heavier Eventually to crush us We all must die

Milan Kundera (b 1929)

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/may/22/milan-kundera-immortality-jonathan-coe-novels-women

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/bookreviews/11622860/Milan-Kundera-not-a-single-serious-word.html

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYERkRBc1VXVVBfRjg?usp=sharing  (accessible via scribd)

Tom Waits: Live In Bremen (1977)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZi7qeyhPhw

Tom Waits: Never Talk to Strangers (1979)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCfilGW4qFA

Tom Waits Greatest Hits - Tom Waits Full HQ Album 2016

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NcMKYvB2rY

Tom Waits - Nighthawks at the Diner (1975)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohI8oV5mYkU

Goldstone (2016)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHq4XIWCjTA

ゴンドラの唄 / 船歌 / The Gondola Song (Ikiru 黒澤明)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDjmDHiSTm8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwuqaVHxA7M

Chet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWzJGRh_Tsw

John Mayall & Gary Moore - If I don't get home

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyF2Hmys8Sc&list=RDdyF2Hmys8Sc#t=17

John Mayall - Blues For The Lost Days (70th Birthday Concert)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p_J9tvh8hk

Arrowwood - Funeral Lullaby

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHEzG1DgxOg

Novemthree - Blood Red Bird

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVIY_U4N9Ac

After the Sunset (2004)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4QiLJB12ZM

appi

1. Handbook of Medicine in Psychiatry, by Peter Manu, Corey Karlin-Zysman, APPI, 2 ed, 2015

2. Clinical Manual of Palliative Care Psychiatry, by Nathan Fiarman, Jeremy M. Hirst, Scott A. Irwin, APPI, 2016
3. Clinical Manual of Psychopharmacology in the Medically Ill, by James L Levenson, et al., APPI, 2 ed, 2016

Black Kuwait Fire / Laurent Petitgand

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzYdhGwdOV0

Attack (1956)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLxUytNq34Q

Sebastião Salgado

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qH4GAXXH29s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsqlwmoME9k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHJWgQxTous

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aU1khuVq_Uw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPyGB5SN4hI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoSg7sIQZgc

Laurent Petitgand (b 1959)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laurent_Petitgand

https://www.youtube.com/user/loripil

Valhalla Rising (2009)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ma-h7AdNLRg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH0EC5sR00Q

The End of the Road / Laurent Petitgand

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhUHCm4tdsc

kohlhaas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZajZdQA8RR8&list=RDZajZdQA8RR8#t=7

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Do8JW3T8I4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wui3Poy_Ct0

Inventing Peace: A Dialogue on Perception (Wim Wenders, Mary Zournazi 2013)

accessible via scribd

Laurent Petitgand - The Salt of the Earth (Wim Wenders 2014)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fmhWXnWNYY&list=PLvOU2OeQiM8WK4HMrSXnKZqt1bN5i5zMJ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8rFgneh26A

Wim Wenders: Places, Strange and Quiet (2013) (b 1945)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4TUooqW9WI

睡臥    七十荒野    他媽的   十分佩服

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYEankxUjgzUkQ0RDQ?usp=sharing

LIGHTNIN' HOPKINS ~ Where Did You Stay Last Night

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FQHwjY4sf4

冬夜的雨落個不停

11/23 4:18 AM   儲水   Sebald說的   瓶中老鼠的故事   那是他車禍猝逝前的最後一次訪談  

"They put a rat in a cylinder that is full of water and the rat swims around for about a minute until it sees that it can't get out and then it dies of cardiac arrest," he told me. 

A second rat is put in a similar cylinder, except that this cylinder has a ladder, which enables the rat to climb out. 

"Then, if you put this rat in another cylinder and don't offer it a ladder, it will keep swimming until it dies of exhaustion," he explained. 

"You're given something --- a holiday to Tenerife or you meet a nice person --- and so you carry on, even though it's quite hopeless. That may tell you everything you need to know." he chuckled. (the emergence of memory: Conversation with W. G. Sebald, 2007, p. 172)

見過陳映真一面   是在宇宙的喜宴   同桌的   陳映真   聽著   沉默地   微笑著   去蝦殼   津津有味地    吃著蝦子    然後    在小碗裡    細心地洗著手   宇宙已逝十年   先生   昨天北京辭世   想著    這段往事    我點起紙菸    這時   冬夜的雨落個不停

The Company You Keep (2012)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPwIGhtrTyw

Smoke (1995)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGlw5uY1PsQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDK7_XkGmVw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kCUbw8Ug28

Auster說的    不記得細節    Bakhtin坐過牢嗎    還是窮極潦倒     總之沒有捲菸紙     遂拿手稿捲菸    人文學    遂化為青煙  

What if... God gave you a second chance? (2010)

Or, well ... if God doesn't give you a second chance?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzrrV_uAD5Y

We Are Still Here (2015)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lozCF7xsjs

大耳窿 (2011)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBw294xiblw

One Hour Before The Trip - A Novel For Our Wonderful City

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDy30nGVQlA

陳映真走了

http://www.chinatimes.com/realtimenews/20161122004537-260409

系統的生命史考察

No Visitors After Midnight (Tom Waits 1979)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Y97UQ_TD8c

Low Roar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1E7tz0zRlpE

Nick Drake (1948-1974)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kZMVG6N7DE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4nwiDyetGg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPbWMvQwroo

Sibylle Baier

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syVOWmLWFys

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sibylle_Baier

what have I become
my sweetest friend

memorable, long gone, voice from 1970-1973

Midnight in the Century (Victor Serge 1939)

Victor Serge (1890–1947) was born Victor Lvovich Kibalchich to Russian anti-tsarist exiles, impoverished intellectuals living “by chance” in Brussels. A precocious anarchist firebrand, young Victor was sentenced to five years in a French penitentiary in 1912. Expelled to Spain in 1917, he participated in an anarcho-syndicalist uprising before leaving to join the Revolution in Russia. Detained for more than a year in a French concentration camp, Serge arrived in St. Petersburg early in 1919 and joined the Bolsheviks, serving in the press services of the Communist International. An outspoken critic of Stalin, Serge was expelled from the Party and briefly arrested in 1928. Henceforth an “unperson,” he completed three novels (Men in Prison, Birth of Our Power, and Conquered City) and a history (Year One of the Russian Revolution), all published in Paris. Arrested again in Russia and deported to Central Asia in 1933, he was allowed to leave the USSR in 1936 after international protests by militants and prominent writers like André Gide and Romain Rolland. Using his insider’s knowledge, Serge published a stream of impassioned, documented exposés of Stalin’s Moscow show trials and machinations in Spain, which went largely unheeded. Stateless, penniless, hounded by Stalinist agents, Serge lived in precarious exile in Brussels, Paris, Vichy France, and Mexico City, where he died in 1947. His classic Memoirs of a Revolutionary and his great last novels, Unforgiving Years and The Case of Comrade Tulayev (both available as NYRB Classics), were written “for the desk drawer” and published posthumously. (amazon)

(kindle 2014)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Serge

Robert Musil (1880 -1942)

• Der Mann ohne Eigenschaften (The Man Without Qualities, 1930, 1933, 1943, published in two volumes)
• https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYEUGVrUC1idUNORXM?usp=sharing (accessible via scribd)

Erich Fromm (1900-1980)

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYEZFlsSDJPcUp5Vnc?usp=sharing

http://fromm-online.org/en/
http://www.fromm-gesellschaft.eu/index.php/en/

an unfairly “forgotten intellectual” today (McLaughlin, 1998) 

humanism, nothing but ordinary, simple decency; not Humanism, or HUMANISM

Phenomenology

1. Introduction to Phenomenology, by Dermot Moran, Routledge, 2002 (kindle 2010)

2. The Husserl Dictionary (Bloomsbury Philosophy Dictionaries), by Dermot Moran, Joseph Cohen, Bloomsbury Academic, 2012 (scribd)

3. Husserl's Crisis of the European Sciences and Transcendental Phenomenology: An Introduction (Cambridge Introductions to Key Philosophical Texts), by Dermot Moran, Cambridge University Press, 2012 (kindle 2014, scribd)

4. The Crisis of European Sciences and Transcendental Phenomenology: An Introduction to Phenomenological Philosophy, by Edmund Husserl, David Carr (Translator), Northwestern University Press,1970 (paperback 2004) (kindle 2016-11-20) 

... sometime in 1934 ... until the summer of 1937

5. The Paradox of Subjectivity: The Self in the Transcendental Tradition, by David Carr, Oxford University Press, 1999 (questia)

6. Interpreting Husserl: Critical and Comparative Studies, by David Carr, Springer, 1987 

7. Time, Narrative, and History (Studies in Phenomenology and Existential Philosophy), by David Carr, Indiana Univ Pr, 1986

8. https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYEUXhOdGtFZVJ0bDA?usp=sharing

this time, through the crisis, dermot moran, and david carr

黑社會 Election (2005)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F3CkdtH1zc

老杜此片靈感來自台灣和美國大選

悍匪 (1996)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s05Di3bfHEM

double bind

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYEcXNycUI3VE5KOEU?usp=sharing

聽起來像傑出台灣公務員精彩的一生

Hermeneutics

1. The Life of Understanding: A Contemporary Hermeneutics (Studies in Continental Thought), by James Risser, Indiana University Press, 2012 (questia)

2. Risser, J. (1997) Hermeneutics between Gadamer and Heidegger. Philosophy Today. 41:134+ (questia)

3. Hermeneutics (Studies in Phenomenology and Existential Philosophy), by Richard E. Palmer, Northwestern University Press, 1969 (亟於重溫)

3.1 Notes on Richard E. Palmer's 'Hermeneutics'  https://www.academia.edu/9319687/Notes_on_Richard_E._Palmers_Hermeneutics (accessed Nov 19, 2016)

4. Hermeneutics: An Introduction, by Anthony C. Thiselton, Eerdmans, 2009 (kindle 2010; scribd)

5. Understanding Dilthey: Hermeneutics, by Hercules Bantas, The Reluctant Geek, 2014 (scribd)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5viXpvvYMYEQzlYYnlWZnhMNFU/view?usp=sharing

6. https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYER21oU0JlbkNwOTg?usp=sharing

this time, through james risser

Asylum: An International Magazine for Democratic Psychiatry

http://www.asylumonline.net/

不要父不要母

這是一個定義的問題根據維根斯坦定義是language game誰有權力誰就可以玩這個遊戲誰沒有權力誰就被玩這個遊戲所以偉大的英明的智慧的文明的台灣政府規定以後父親改名叫精蟲母親改名叫卵蟲他們兩個合起來叫雙蟲台灣有兩千三百萬條蟲王小明改名叫王小蟲如果一個人想跟另一個人性愛以後正確說法是我的(精/卵)蟲可以不可以跟你的(精/卵)蟲一起做功課如果一個人不想跟另一個人性愛以後正確說法是我的(精/卵)蟲不想跟你的(精/卵)蟲一起做功課父親節改名叫精蟲節母親節改名叫卵蟲節清明節叫蟲蟲節所謂蟲蟲時節雨纷纷路上行人欲断魂以後寫信給父親不要寫Dear Dad要寫Dear 精蟲大人在上寫信給母親不要寫Dear Mom要寫Dear 卵蟲大人在上等等jack reacher得知此事後說這個鳥國家真是他卵蟲的太鳥了

CURRENT Medical Diagnosis and Treatment 2015 (Lange)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5viXpvvYMYEanZDQWNIaUxvSjg/view?usp=sharing

2016 unavailable, 2017 already out

Peter Sedgwick (1982)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Sedgwick (1934-1983) 

我本不知他是Victor Serge的譯者應該是條好漢死在運河不知是什麼意思 

http://link.springer.com/article/10.1057/sth.2009.7 https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5viXpvvYMYERlk1eDVuVWVxSFE/view?usp=sharing

Psycho Politics: Laing, Foucault, Goffman, Szasz, and the Future of Mass Psychiatry, by Peter Sedewick, HarperCollins, 1982 (ordered via Biblio 2016-11-19)

48

11/19 7:32 AM  這時陽光入室   昨與友春天晤   我說鐘擺的本質是錢   意思是說是資本主義的運作  這符合面子裡子兼吃夠夠的當代成功理論   這明顯超過我的小小的大腦運作  
11/19 7:47 AM  結繩記事   是為了維持時間的定向感   湯姆漢克漂流荒島   在岩壁刻字  且觀察海象  才捕捉得到闖過海潮的風   這件事大家都知道   不要跟台灣人談taiwan watch   也不要跟中國人談china watch   但可以跟南斯拉夫人談李遠哲的教改和李登輝過去六十年的菜單   一周未洗澡   等一下終於要洗澡   這是人類面對的重大決定   昨凱琳說    我們被社交媒體和搜尋引擎限制    活在同溫層了   所謂hub大者恆大    依此說    我應該是活在蟲跡罕至的失溫層

11/19 11:31 AM Peter Sedgwick (1982) 也許須訂  雖不喜紙本 (ordered via Biblio 2016-11-19)
11/19 2:23 PM H3 one Depression, UTI / epigastric distress, one Bipolar, agitated.
11/19 4:06 PM 終於把燒餅油條吃完
11/19 7:09 PM 為什麼要接受  一個人被當成十個人操  操就是screwed up  我雖善於自圓其說  至此辭窮
11/19 10:56 PM  昨天我說   巨大的悲觀   中國政治的本質   恐怕兩千多年來  畢竟沒有改變   意思是說    孫中山推翻的滿清     還好端端的活著    搞了一百年     白搞一場    台灣政治的本質   則屬社團角頭    流氓混混    包娼收數    狡詐不堪    火拼地盤     可參考香港黑幫電影    基本上    與孫中山和他推翻的滿清都無涉 
11/20 1:59 AM finish ppt Understnading Dilthey: Hermeneutics
11/20 9:29 AM. H3 70+ y/o female, seizure two days ago, hold iv / lasix today.  ER 86 y/m, delirium, decide not adm, suggest referral. 
11/20 11:49 AM finish ppt double bind (paul gibney 2006) 這樣的日子已經不多
11/20 3:47 PM back from a nap. walks slowly, seems to have all the time in the world, though not my time
11/20 6:12 PM H2 one pt hostile, s/p haldol / anxicam im st, calmer. kindle ordered Husserl's Crisis, interestingly, its translator David Carr talked about the self too. if foundation determines transcendence, then, no question about it, i have neither, below and above me, find and realize about this situation of mine, almost sadly, yet, paradoxically, a little bit, cheerfully, too. like i said before, so be it. 
11/20 8:25 PM finish ppt Fromm (rough draft). now, 如何做人? who are they, the inner resources? who am i, besides the inner resourses? 
11/20 9:28 PM H2 catatonic schizophrenia, less resistant after anxicam 1 amp im
11/21 1:02 AM ER bipolar manic recurrent, adm H21-12, systolic BP around 230 at ER, 170 at the ward.
11/21 9:22 AM well, this is duty 48 fin

叢林和草原的回憶

今天我們去參觀德來日間照顧中心(St Teresa's Day Care Center)修女阿嬤說她把自己交給神是喜樂的日照在二樓一樓就是教堂我跟泰翰說我們是世俗的(secular)恐怕喜樂不起來這裡的地板下就是神的居所我們的地板只是地板下面甚麼也沒有巧克力來家裡已近一年起先幾月帶牠去媽媽廚房吃飯晚上八點垃圾車經過愛麗絲很大聲巧克力昂首嗚鳴我們才確定牠不是啞了近來不必愛麗絲牠也會叫尤其昨晚滿月這明顯是叢林和草原的回憶

action research

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYELVdCOFpyQmtKV1E?usp=sharing

紅蜻蜓

五年未見一早見兩紅蜻蜓盤旋廢院一隻旋逝一隻停在草上

Emmy van Deurzen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaYuxnonF5U&list=PL00FF5E6D4B79409F&index=1

https://www.youtube.com/user/emmyzen

Jordan B. Peterson

https://www.youtube.com/user/JordanPetersonVideos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsoVhKo4UvQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=539UQF6eT6I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzdpzuEkL74

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGLsnu5RLe8&list=PL22J3VaeABQAOhH1CLMNnMl2R-O1abW1T

http://jordanbpeterson.com/

http://www.torontosun.com/2016/10/31/we-stand-with-jordan-peterson (it seemed that he refused to use the gender neutral pronouns like "zer" or "zhe", and has been debating about the issue of political-correctness in the last few weeks, and it seemed that later on, U of Toronto tried to silence him) (2016-11-17)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiijS_9hPkM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82hlLbI1NtM

The Autobiography of a Super-Tramp (W. H. Davies, 1908) (1871-1940)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W._H._Davies

http://m.match.net.tw/pc/news/news/20160123/3378622

accessible via scribd

流浪者自傳童年讀過的書 interesting fella indeed

魯迅 (1881-1936)

http://www.my285.com/xdwx/luxun/

Hit the road Jack!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8Tiz6INF7I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyVuYAHiZb8

Climate Crisis, Psychoanalysis, and Radical Ethics (Donna M. Orange, Sep 13, 2016)

kindle 20161113

吃草

不是牛吃草是都都吃草好像在沙拉吧狂吃得很熱切我說中醫就是這樣誕生的都都作天開始右後腳痛得不能走J說吃草能止痛嗎我說古時候一定有人吃了罌粟好爽才發現嗎啡都都站在草叢裡D說出來出來小心跳蚤我說你有裡外它沒有裡外

Johnny Cash - Rusty Cage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmAWDZdYvL4

文明是囚籠文字是囚籠放眼所見無不是囚籠我們從來都在囚籠中已經不信自己有限的知覺反射判斷所以當典獄長說走了你自由了我又乖乖走回囚籠

Zhi Mian (直面)

http://www.schoolius.com/school/166905733379321/Zhi%20Mian%20International%20Institute%20of%20Existential-Humanistic%20Psychology

http://www.saybrook.edu/newexistentialists/posts/06-12-12/

Wang Xuefu 王學富

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYEaFExOTZ2ZjkwQTA?usp=sharing

Lou Reed (1942-2013)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lou_Reed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYEC4TZsy-Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KaWSOlASWc

Existential Psychotherapy and Counselling after Postmodernism: The selected works of Del Loewenthal (World Library of Mental Health) (Del Loewenthal, Oct 10, 2016)

kindle 20161112

Living Your Own Life: Existential Analysis in Action (Silvia Laengle, Christopher Wurm, March 23, 2016)

"In contrast to Viktor Frankl’s logotherapy, which has become internationally recognised through many books and articles, newer developments in 'existential analysis and logotherapy' out of these roots are not so well known in the English-speaking world due to the lack of English textbooks. Therefore, it is laudable to publish this volume and to share the important improvements to this approach with the English-speaking community. Therapists and counsellors will appreciate that the focus of this book is more on the application of existential analysis than on the theory." (Dr Jurgen Kriz, University of Osnabruck, Germany)

Silvia Längle is a psychotherapist in private practice in Vienna, a training therapist of the Austrian Society for Logotherapy and Existential Analysis, and a Board Member of the International Society for Logotherapy and Existential Analysis. She has been Editor-in-Chief of the journal Existenzanalyse since 1995. She studied theory of science and theoretical physics in Innsbruck, Munich and Vienna. Encountering V. E. Frankl aroused her interest in Existential Psychotherapy as a phenomenological practice, prompting her to reflect on its relationship to the theory of science, and then to undergo her own training as a therapist.

Christopher Wurm studied Medicine and German at the University of Adelaide, then trained as a Family Physician and studied Existential Psychotherapy in Vienna. In 2003 he was made a Foundation Fellow of the Australasian Chapter of Addiction Medicine. He has worked in Australia, England and Austria in clinical and teaching roles in Primary Care, Teaching Hospitals and Community Mental Health. He became Visiting Fellow, Discipline of Psychiatry, University of Adelaide in 2007. He is currently Senior Consultant, Drug and Alcohol Consultation Liaison Service, at the Royal Adelaide Hospital and Sefton Park Primary and Ambulatory Care, as well as GP Psychotherapist and Addiction Physician in private practice at Pooraka, South Australia.

(amazon) (kindle 20161112)

Experiencing loss of meaning can cause an "existential vacuum", as Frankl called it, and lead, according to him, to depression, addiction, and aggression. (ibid, kindle location 144/3519)

貪嗔癡的心理動力學考察 (貪 --> greed, addiction) (瞋 --> narcissistic rage, aggression) (癡 --> pathological attachment, depression) (2016-11-17) (與上述相應乎?)

https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E4%B8%89%E6%AF%92

http://baike.baidu.com/subview/2090085/2090085.htm

International Federation of Daseinsanalysis

http://i-f-da.org/

讓漂流的遊魂 找到他們的家

Night on Earth (Jim Jarmusch, 1991)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2W7ziaDOOY

dead man (jim jarmusch, 1995)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tfx4O7EZ6yE

NSPC

https://www.nspc.org.uk/

https://www.nspc.org.uk/about-nspc/the-existential-approach.html

http://www.existentialpsychotherapy.net/

http://www.partiallyexaminedlife.com/2011/12/22/three-types-of-reduction-in-phenomenology/

it seems that they are jumping on the bandwagon of coaching, which is a disgrace, Laing would say

Night School: A Jack Reacher Novel (Lee Child, Nov 7, 2016)

might be a disappointment, since this one is a pre-jack-the-rambler one, something like what's-jack's-childhood-like, but we know, we love jack because he is the rambler in our heart, and don't forget, this guy is very much fucking civilized, he always brings his toothbrush along

kindle, 1051112


這說明了Lee Child的困境因為Jack已經快五十歲了這當然也說明了我的困境因為我已經快六十歲了意思是說rambling是25-42歲的人的權利太早不行太晚也不行意思是說太早還不知道牙刷的重要太晚明明記得有帶卻找不到牙刷

Route 66

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBhU3hGSoG0

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Route_66

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Route_66_(TV_series)#Theme_song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zw1tiNGQ4wI

https://www.amazon.com/Lonely-Planet-Route-Trips-Travel-ebook/dp/B00WYIX6R0/ref=sr_1_8?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1478919335&sr=1-8&keywords=route+66

The Situation Is Hopeless But Not Serious (The Pursuit of Unhappiness) (Paul Watzlawick, 1983)

Do you see the past through a rosy filter that makes it seem like Paradise Lost? Are you convinced that traffic lights always turn red for you? Do you have to win (so as not to lose)? After extricating yourself from a bad relationship, do you find another partner just like the previous one? If so, congratulations! You have the makings of an unhappiness expert. With the techniques in this book, you can raise yourself to the genius level. A word of warning, however. Along the way you may begin to ask yourself, "How did I manage to turn myself into my own worst enemy?" Fortunately, this tongue-in-cheek (but serious) volume takes a look at that question too. (amazon)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Watzlawick

John Lee Hooker - Highway 13

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlwJRk09I5U&index=5&list=RDq-fSZRYeBWk

John Lee Hooker - One Bourbon One Scotch One Beer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-fSZRYeBWk

now, this is what we call a proper breakfast

FJU 2017

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYEZjFyTzZtdmVkT1k?usp=sharing

這時那人抬起頭來看著窗外一切是從這裡開始的

人间喜剧 - The Human Comedy (2001)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B85JvWkG40s

Shine On You Crazy Diamond, Pink Floyd - David Gilmour

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNJlKaF8sJc

now, this short one is simply fantastic magic

David Gilmour Wish you were here live unplugged

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j8mr-gcgoI

Gilmour " Guitarist Extraordinaire "

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLYeVk9Sk60

Soul Of A Man - David Lindley (Studio Version)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c06ttCG75Co

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJVWls-wzKQ

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell_on_Wheels_(TV_series)

Dead Man 1995 Movie Soundtrack(Music By:Neil Young)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAgwoEUGgro

besides the dishes

review, double bind, further details of fju 2017, key papers, a few more key texts, for example, waiting for mick cooper (2016), daseinsanalysis (2014), robert galatzer-levy (2016), interpersonal psychoanalysis (2017), for example, now, no wish, nor longing, what comes, comes, so be it, meantime, busier and busier, day by day, just accepted a referral from CGMH, complicated, as before, 1051202 consensus, ppt done, needs revision, of course, fju uploading done, should be okay, 11/12 00:24 AM, blood sugar 238, s/p regular insulin 6 u two times, refused to take zoloft, shall try lexapro coming morning, nobita will take over MMT monday afternoon from Dec, though duty still on monday, relieved a lot, banchiao vh q2w, burdened from Oct, MC taoyuan / taipei, burdened too, next wednesday, 11/16, supervision tour, take it easy, to WRITE a book, isn't that a promise, to myself, i know you can do it, after all these years of ironies, all those fragments should find a home of theirs, 讓漂流的遊魂 找到他們的家, don't you think so,11/12 7:02 AM, fasting sugar 196, BP 160/94, well, let's see, keep these notes, to remind myself, to stall the early dementia course, to make sure all these schedules, can still be kept, 從來都不喜裝模作樣, 

五年一鷺

一早見一鷺怕推門驚嚇之果然旋即飛起不見五年多來曾見一夜鷺廢院覓食但這是第一次見到白鷺幾天前清晨高雄愛河邊曾見三白鷺

Johnny Cash - God's Gonna Cut You Down

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJlN9jdQFSc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Bwfm7-uNS4

the embrace of insignificance

老古說carlo strenger說

文西說the fear of insignificance

老古說Dear Carlo你說錯了

文西說應該是the embrace of insignificance

老古說尋找粗糙的蒼老的

文西說磨擦gravel的聲音

老古說Tom Waits     

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1eDuFlOl-c

文西說或Lightnin' Hopkins     

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqL2OLsvDWc   

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1vqxN2TR3k   

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yFhlEEAKk4

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBYPxOshV6w

老古說或過世前幾年的Johnny Cash

文西說忙了一天

老古說明天還有一天

文西說後天還有一天

老古說到大後天才可以休息

文西說這就是我說的the embrace of insignificance

Animals - The House Of The Rising Sun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxYGeTV6fCw&list=RD4ahHWROn8M0&index=8

and god I know I'm one

Johnny Cash - I See A Darkness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWnUItw1ElU&list=RD4ahHWROn8M0&index=6

Johnny Cash - His Final Live Performance 2003

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqESx05OuCA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqESx05OuCA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zv49PhbvDHs

Johnny Cash - "One"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGrR-7_OBpA

Johnny Cash - Folsom Prison Blues

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8J7VQaWt1uQ&list=RD4ahHWROn8M0&index=36

Johnny Cash - Redemption Day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_uI1BUnzws&list=RD4ahHWROn8M0&index=35

Johnny Cash - "Ain't No Grave"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyfCTZB6Nrk&list=RD4ahHWROn8M0&index=4

Mighty Sam McClain (1943-2015) - When The Hurt Is Over

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4YPMiFaPWo

johnny cash (1932-2003) - hurt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ahHWROn8M0

During the last stage of his career, Cash covered songs by several late 20th century rock artists, notably "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails and "Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode.(wikipedia)

2016-11-26 息壤 (牧宏)

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYETzhzc2dlNFF4Yjg?usp=sharing

Heidegger and Boss's Daseinsanalysis and an Integration with Taoism: A Comparative and Counseling Perspective (Jacob W. Glazier, 2010)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5viXpvvYMYEQkRZRGV6LVNDTnM/view?usp=sharing

cta? do certified therapy animals (CTA) need continuing education credit (CEC)? and by whom?

Animal assisted therapy (AAT) is a therapeutic modality that utilizes certified therapy animals (CTAs) as therapeutic agents in a process facilitated by trained helping professionals. Incorporating animals into therapy is argued to be ameliorative because clients have opportunities to give and receive affection. AAT is especially important for clients who may be impaired in their ability to create a therapeutic relationship with a human helping professional. While personal pets may be comforting to their owners and others, their therapeutic value is not, strictly speaking, AAT. Trained helping professionals intentionally use both directive and nondirective intervention strategies in the therapeutic process. In many populations, AAT has been shown to decrease depression and anxiety while increasing self-esteem and self-efficacy and has been found especially effective in working with neglected and/or abused children, oncology patients and individuals struggling with other medical ... 

(In: The SAGE Encyclopedia of Theory in Counseling and Psychotherapy

Edited by: Edward S. Neukrug

DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.4135/9781483346502.n24)

Nov 7, AM 5:29

非功能性非工具性那剩下甚麼性

Trna - Lose Yourself to Find Peace (Full Album)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyzjPD1egew

Black Hill & Scott Snee - On a deserted path (Full Album)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLssDSxPeZM

Fall to November Sky... - Autumn Light (Full Album)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anlPvsyQM-c

男人三十攪攪震 (2001)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lP0GSeAx5I

one of the best HK movies, condom as the signifier, what a fucking crazy night, and, 1:01:22 to 1:02:30, that one minute, beatifully transcendental 

洋蔥

back from K & K, revisited HBR, memories of years ago, 午夜祭鬼脫衣舞秀忘了帶plendil, 1200 KM later, back to the window, well, 11/7 24, 11/8 B, 11/9 MC, 11/10 M, 11/11 24, PEACE now, shall review ET soon, including DA/LB/MB, 鍾肇政1940s 從龍潭去美濃拜訪鍾理和 車程花了 兩天時間, 歐克山莊已經消失, 這是很明確的, 天鵝湖還在, 不喜困在樓內, 149 + 20 = 169, 三隻鷺鳥在愛河, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwc7ZEYfWYc&list=RDdwc7ZEYfWYc,

歷史

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYELTBCRlF2M0FZVFU?usp=sharing

Cowspiracy: The Sustainability Secret (2014)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtyRHb-WNp8

2016-11-3 綜合醫院之自殺防治

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5viXpvvYMYEeENHaTRfLWpEOVU/view?usp=sharing 

(ppt, 2016-11-3)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5viXpvvYMYEM3dTMEcySkRNNmM/view?usp=sharing

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5viXpvvYMYERWpkWkNoVjdYS00/view?usp=sharing

https://www.asuswebstorage.com/navigate/s/A308CD24D7AA414BB8D457B7AD79D6B0Y 

(MP3, 2016-11-3)

Daseinsanalysis (Alice Holzhey-Kunz, 2014)

Daseinsanalysis, by Alice Holzhey-Kunz, Free Association Books, 2014

Daseinsanalysis - the psychiatric and psychotherapeutic school of thought founded by Ludwig Binswanger and Medard Boss in the 1940s - had a huge impact on the development of existential therapies in the English-speaking world. This highly stimulating and lucid book gives a critical overview of the daseinsanalytic concepts of Binswanger and Boss and explains their key differences. Author Alice Holzhey-Kunz gives a systematic account of a new approach to mental suffering - based on Kierkegaard, Heidegger, and Sartre - that never loses sight of Freud's fundamental insight into the hidden meaning of apparently senseless neurotic symptoms. She goes on to demonstrate that mental suffering is a 'suffering from our own being' before considering the therapeutic implications of the existential view of mental suffering, concluding that Freud's three technical rules provide the optimal conditions for understanding and engaging with these baffling existential experiences.

Alice Holzhey-Kunz, Ph.D. is a philosopher and daseinsanalytic psychotherapist in Zurich, Switzerland. She is president of the Society for Hermeneutic Anthropology and Daseinsanalysis and co-founder and co-president of the Daseinsanalytic Seminar in Zurich, where she teaches and supervises candidates. She has written three books and many articles on daseinsanalytic theory and on a new approach that combines psychoanalytic and existentialist perspectives. She is the co-editor of the new edition of Ludwig Binswanger's selected works. (amazon) (abebook, 2016-11-3)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5viXpvvYMYEbzdwMENjR3dFZGM/view?usp=sharing  (what a surprise, Paul Gordon has written a book review for this one in 2015)

棋王 King of Chess (1991)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zzDiBR5zrA

無意間捕捉到1991的台北和十八王公那年我開始做人更讓人動容的是演出此片時的岑建勳正在螳螂捕蟬黃雀在後

https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E9%BB%83%E9%9B%80%E8%A1%8C%E5%8B%95

The Revenant (2015)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_X0awJ7ZmHo

Lawless (2012)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqYoWuZ8B00

原鄉 (2016-12-29)

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYEQ1BZcGlBczB1SG8?usp=sharing  (無學問可言    談不上論述    窮到只有片段意象隱喻     然餘生在此矣    不捨此題)

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5viXpvvYMYEOElEY3lndUxKb2M?usp=sharing  (Ludwig Binswanger   與上有關   暫置此)

Untraceable (2008)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJnW3eJOdZs

see also
http://www.techworm.net/2016/03/10-best-hacking-movies-watch-right-now.html

Algorithm (2014)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qpudAhYhpc

這個通告費賺得很不值得

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6H2rmvIG6Q

戰火稍熄廿四小時

這時天色微明雷馬克

背包裡放著西線無戰事

回到陌生的家裡

昨天我說Davie Rennie引述

Madill et al. (2008)質性研究

有卅二種路數

而量性研究從頭到尾

只有一種

所以去天堂的路只有一條

那邊一路高速

呼嘯壅塞

而去地獄的的路至少三十二條

那邊鄉間小路blackbird

蜿蜒猶有自然可言

這件事

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry into Values (ZAMM)

Robert M Pirsig (1974)就已說過

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5viXpvvYMYEd1I3OThPT1lGcVk/view?usp=sharing

一開始
他是這麼說的

We are in an area of the Central Plains filled with thousands of duck hunting sloughs, heading northwest from Minneapolis toward the Dakotas. This highway is an old concrete two-laner that hasn’t had much traffic since a four-laner went in parallel to it several years ago. 

I’m happy to be riding back into this country. It is a kind of nowhere, famous for nothing at all and has an appeal because of just that. 

... He grabs the back of my helmet and hollers up, "I’ve seen lots of those, Dad!" 

"Oh!" I holler back. Then I nod. At age eleven you don’t get very impressed with red-winged blackbirds. 

You have to get older for that. For me this is all mixed with memories that he doesn’t have. Cold mornings long ago when the marsh grass had turned brown and cattails were waving in the northwest wind. The pungent smell then was from muck stirred up by hip boots while we were getting in position for the sun to come up and the duck season to open. Or winters when the sloughs were frozen over and dead and I could walk across the ice and snow between the dead cattails and see nothing but grey skies and dead things and cold. The blackbirds were gone then. But now in July they’re back and everything is at its alivest and every foot of these sloughs is humming and cricking and buzzing and chirping, a whole community of millions of living things living out their lives in a kind of benign continuum. 

You see things vacationing on a motorcycle in a way that is completely different from any other. In a car you’re always in a compartment, and because you’re used to it you don’t realize that through that car window everything you see is just more TV. You’re a passive observer and it is all moving by you boringly in a frame. 

On a cycle the frame is gone. You’re completely in contact with it all. You’re in the scene, not just watching it anymore, and the sense of presence is overwhelming. That concrete whizzing by five inches below your foot is the real thing, the same stuff you walk on, it’s right there, so blurred you can’t focus on it, yet you can put your foot down and touch it anytime, and the whole thing, the whole experience, is never removed from immediate consciousness.