2 hrs before dawn

duty for 48 hrs, near end, fully awake at 4 am, memories kept coming back, a few names, 40 days to go, after 2100 days of continuous tension, enough, don't you think, china watch should be discreet and parsimonious, the question remains, what is the lived experience of being threatened existentially, facing the historical wilderness of china-taiwan quagmire, feels like remarque when he wrote flotsam in 1939, 福氣, 幸福, for jenn and aco, though i am not entitled to pray, just a humble wish from a father, mu xin's wrtings were like minima moralia (adorno 1944-1949), both were reflections from damaged life, and, both, interestingly, were like blogs, which means, like what i've been doing from 2004, fragments, nothing but fragments, not expecting anything coherent coming out of it, which means our lives are fragments, nothing but fragments, veiled by something called projects, without which, we cannot deny to ourselves, that we are nothing but flotsam,