a way of life

首先要說明我不是教友

沒有受洗沒有受戒

我的背後沒有神當靠山

雖然我不反對舉頭三尺見到祂

或祂的興來之作

那個作品

我稱之為自然

其次要說明我的母語是中文

所以文化中國對我是故鄉的湖

儒釋道對我有一種母親的親切

在以上前提

我認為人

尤其是母語是中文的人

生在歷史的荒野

這個歷史的荒野

是普世的現代性的

也是中國歷史的

不管你在那裡

背後沒有神

所以這個荒野

沒有天使沒有護法

這樣安排

我覺得挺好

列下一串字和幾本書

1 Globalization

2 Postmodernism

3 Neoliberalism

4 Extreme everything

5 Anthropocene

6 Zombieland

7 Artificial intelligence

8 Machine learning

9 Internet of Things (IoT)

10 Life 3.0

11 Decline of democracy

12 Wilderness

Depression and the Erosion of the Self in Late Modernity: The Lesson of Icarus, by Barbara Dowds, Routledge, 2017

Meaning and Melancholia: Life in the Age of Bewilderment, by Christopher Bollas, Routledge, May 26, 2018

Men in Dark Times, by Hannah Arendt, Mariner Books, 1970

Gustav Mahler - Symphony No. 5

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9D1svZ9Y0s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdoYX0P_Jmo

The trilogy of orchestral symphonies, the Fifth, the Sixth and the Seventh were composed at Maiernigg between 1901 and 1905.

重慶森林 (1994)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p969hpicLlM

From the Blogs: Latest DHHS Guidelines for Initial HIV Therapy Now Include 5 Choices — But Really 2 Are Best

https://aidsinfo.nih.gov/news/2044/adult-arv-panel-classifies-bic-taf-ftc-as-recommended-initial-regimen-for-hiv

中國式共享經濟 消耗超1000億 幾乎全軍覆沒

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kh6IXln58AA

祂是一個誠實的神

1. 意思是說你我拜的是不誠實的神

2. 神有可能誠實嗎我陷入沉思

3. 潛意識是拿來騙自己的

4. 神有潛意識嗎

5. 如果神沒有潛意識

6. 這麼意識獨大的傢伙你信得過祂嗎

7. 如果神有潛意識

8. 那祂必須騙祂自己

9. 那祂還可能誠實嗎

10. 我可以理解下面這句話

11. 他是一個誠實的皮條客

12. 他是一個誠實的白手套

13. 他是一個誠實的中研院長

14. 但我沒有辦法理解下面這句話

15. 祂是一個誠實的神

half-baked thoughts

1.    why i could not enjoy and finish urge (2016), after fifty minutes? when that asshole was tied up, i knew he was going to be cut up, that was the point when i stopped, but why?

2.    maybe i’m too old for this shit, maybe i’m not BRAVE enough for this shit, maybe my nerves have been worn thin, dealing with madness for so long, and could not take it any more

3.    maybe, i just don’t like this shit, man

4.    and, fucking maybe, i don’t need to explain, that fucking why

5.    you see, this is no horror or thriller per se, good horror and thriller make you FEARFUL, not disgusted,

6.    maybe urge was a line i’d not like to cross, after all

Political Outlook Reports (EIU)

https://store.eiu.com/product/political-outlook-report/taiwan?mkt_tok=eyJpIjoiWm1KalpqTTRNMkZtWWpWbCIsInQiOiJlc3dydlhhWHl6bnQ4bFN2bHpPNFY5ajQxUTBmSU1sN1wvSGcxeHdESlByNTZlRG1kd0I2Sllvck5aQUlka21uTlVtdmt1ZExDOTVFWXRzV280NjFhV3MxSTlyNk9wc0hqZmR6T3dYTzRlYkhwRW4zekpwYUdtbks4bE82N0J2aDYifQ%3D%3D

https://store.eiu.com/product/political-outlook-report/china

生存之民工（2005）

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHs4u5S5f6A

劉鶴不知道這件事

和尚打傘

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5FkagvGgig

美商务部长罗斯谈美中贸易争端

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_rMjDcVc4U

中美贸易战不惜任何代价的代价就是老百姓饿肚子

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT4UL6S4RdY

博鳌论坛冷清 各国首脑不捧场

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbcPKEsU-oo

传中国欲贬人民币报复美国

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uG0zypapHLo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGE-SsHANxQ

Meaning and Melancholia: Life in the Age of Bewilderment (Christopher Bollas 2018-5-26)

Meaning and Melancholia: Life in the Age of Bewilderment sees Christopher Bollas apply his creative and innovative psychoanalytic thinking to various contemporary social, cultural and political themes.

This book offers an incisive exploration of powerful trends within, and between, nations in the West over the past two hundred years. The author traces shifts in psychological forces and ‘frames of mind’, that have resulted in a crucial ‘intellectual climate change’. He contends that recent decades have seen rapid and significant transformations in how we define our ‘selves’, as a new emphasis on instant connectedness has come to replace reflectiveness and introspection.

Bollas argues that this trend has culminated in the current rise of psychophobia; a fear of the mind and a rejection of depth psychologies that has paved the way for what he sees as hate based solutions to world problems, such as the victory of Trump in America and Brexit in the United Kingdom. He maintains that, if we are to counter the threat to democracy posed by these changes and refind a more balanced concept of the self within society, we must put psychological insight at the heart of a new kind of analysis of culture and society.

This remarkable, thought-provoking book will appeal to anyone interested in politics, social policy and cultural studies, and in the gaining of insight into the ongoing challenges faced by the Western democracies and the global community. (amazon) (kindle 2018-4-10)

劉鶴曬九本書

https://www.worldjournal.com/5509484/article-%E5%89%AF%E7%B8%BD%E7%90%86%E6%8E%A8%E8%96%A6%E7%9A%84%E4%B9%9D%E6%9C%AC%E6%9B%B8%E8%AE%80%E6%87%82%E5%8A%89%E9%B6%B4-%E5%B0%B1%E8%83%BD%E7%9C%8B%E7%A9%BF%E4%B8%AD%E5%9C%8B%E7%B6%93%E6%BF%9F/

廿一世紀金融監管

漸行漸遠的紅利—尋找中國新平衡

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Gi_CJVH_Sw7Aeax3utTKcj8ZZmhZV45r/view?usp=sharing

博士咖啡：中國經濟真實增長的故事

經濟發展理論的十位大師

國家為何會失敗

大國的興衰

兩次全球大危機的比較研究

中國經濟新方位 (books.com.tw 2018-4-10)

走向『十三五』：中國經濟新開局 (books.com.tw  2018-4-10)

我最想讀的沒有列在上述包括洗錢學巧取豪奪學打土豪分田地學那百分之一的五百家族的心理動力研究如何成為成功的白手套等等

怎麼管控危機

否認危機存在

用另一個危機蓋過這個危機

如果一個不夠就用兩三更多危機蓋過這個危機

危機需要獻祭

我們不缺祭司

當然也不缺替罪羔羊

以上1966-1976 發生過

為什麼今天不可以再發生

3:26 AM

睡不著起身想一個六十歲的故事

起因是嘲弄一個存在的可能

這個出發點說明了存在的不可能

沒有名字沒有過去沒有解釋

本來想讓他遇到另一個離家的女人

但這會壞了一切因為性愛和存在的可能無關

我決定讓他從頭到尾不脫褲子

他是誰和存在的可能無關剛剛不是說沒有名字

回憶和存在的可能無關剛剛不是說沒有過去

為什麼和存在的可能無關剛剛不是說沒有解釋

他重複來到不知名的街角坐下來

八十七次才算重複老人與海告訴我們

故事的全部就是這個重複你可以說

這個故事是一個六十歲的人跟那個

不知名的街角的椅子的一個沒有故事的故事

A Way of life 432 Hz - Hans Zimmer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUYpKwgqi1M&list=RDSZQzW_QfPew&index=4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIaIJoG5EO4&list=PLLktKYXctU4jqbOwevp8ZKtGfqRwA41-n

Russian orthodox chant Chesnokov "We Praise Thee"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntT2VemnVV8&index=3&list=RDSZQzW_QfPew

史亡而後詩作

史詩 à 死屍

沉思 à 陳屍

史在荒原 史在野塚

为何中国那么多人支持川普打贸易战 背后的原因让人心酸

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge_xIoxfatc

老男人也疯狂 (2018)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Olui2Bmj_U

http://www.sohu.com/a/209997353_100005940

為人民幣服務

大时代 (2010)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQObh7_iSM0

http://list.youku.com/show/id_z8be21042e4e111e0a046.html

中國特色

中國特色是甚麼

是一九七八年改革開放迄今

史詩一般的社會變遷中的芸芸眾生的

數不清說不完的故事

如果你是創作者

你不可能無聊

面對這麼無窮無盡的素材

你的困難是

如何理解這個素材

如何呈現這個素材

這個理解和這個呈現的

過程中的創造力的發揮

就是中國特色

所以糟蹋中國特色的最好方法

就是預設了標準答案

比如說「中國特色社會主義」

那跟「中國特色」已經無關

盲山 (2007)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sjjm2bQNArc

https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E7%9B%B2%E5%B1%B1

李杨 (b 1959)

https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E6%9D%8E%E6%9D%A8/3176233

https://www.zhihu.com/question/23196245

2017年	《盲·道》	电影
2007年	《盲山》	电影
2003年	《盲井》	电影

The Best Songs | Of Monsters And Men

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQJv7fcQduM

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Of_Monsters_and_Men

Of Monsters and Men – Dirty Paws (The Secret Life of Walter Mitty)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgO2U4quFDk

顺疯车 (2018)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R08YqsoXXt8

https://movie.douban.com/subject/30136008/

喊山 (2015)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugOYvSnssgA

https://movie.douban.com/subject/26106958/

丢心 (2018)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXPhIe44Jqc

https://movie.douban.com/subject/27017988/

盲·道 (2017)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC1I64Z8oMU

https://movie.douban.com/subject/26415327/

門 (2007)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUJawy90UFQ

https://movie.douban.com/subject/1797020/

The Limits of Control (Jim Jarmusch 2009)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Limits_of_Control (not accessible via google play yet)

《奴 ‧工》

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNwxy1XemEs

北京往事 (2016)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L-95FG0k5w

https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E5%8C%97%E4%BA%AC%E5%BE%80%E4%BA%8B/20210300

故事

其實沒有新故事可說

只有說濫了的老故事

意思是說

self和identity

是說濫了的老故事

連說書的都打起哈欠的老故事

Identity And Story: Creating Self in Narrative (APA 2006)

Identity And Story: Creating Self in Narrative (The Narrative Study of Lives), ed. by Dan P. McAdams,‎ Ruthellen Josselson,‎ Amia Lieblich, Amer Psychological Assn, 2006

In "Identity and Story: Creating Self in Narrative", the fourth volume in the series "The Narrative Study of Lives," Dan P. McAdams, Ruthellen Josselson, and Amia Lieblich bring together an interdisciplinary and international group of creative researchers and theorists to examine the way the stories we tell create our identities. An increasing number of psychologists argue that people living in modern societies give meaning to their lives by constructing and internalizing self-defining stories. The contributors to this volume explore how, beginning in adolescence and young adulthood, our narrative identities become the stories we live by. This volume addresses the most important and difficult issues in the study of narrative identity, including questions of unity and multiplicity in stories, the controversy over individual versus societal authorship of stories, and the extent to which stories typically show stability or growth in the narrator. The detailed examination of excerpts from stories told to researchers and the analysis of published memoirs, together with the contributors' insights into narrative psychology, make this provocative volume a rich, research-based exploration into how our lives may be the product of the stories we tell. (amazon) (accessible via scribd)

see also

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1AmCGh0TRaMGx1ZmqZe__fyJgq-ckQ5Fs?usp=sharing

瞬间 (1979)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngPMe-M9lMo

新街口 (2006)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpW_WldbNZg

out of nowhere

and, going nowhere

70 billion, obviously

too much, for this tiny ball

once, it was called, unbearable

lightness of being, though,

these days, it is, out-dated,

to say THAT word,

being

you say, then, what’s hot

these days, i say, you’ll

know, when you SEE it

行刑前夜

老古行刑前夜

文西最適合聊

老古甚麼是好的生活(good life)

文西看這張圖

life         fate	lucky	unlucky
good	A	B
bad	C	D

老古命運是上帝的骰子不是人決定的

文西不用管A他們是那有名的屁眼百分之一

老古不用管C那是邏輯上的謬誤

文西D是一無所有者

老古B是斯多噶哲學家

文西(遞菸給老古點起紙菸)

老古(兩人趴達趴達半響)

文西擁有多少才夠讓一個人自由

老古五十萬美金據說 (Wild Card 2015)

文西Nick Wild (Jason Statham)後來不是覺悟了一把押下去全輸光

老古所以全輸光才能讓一個人自由

文西不他的自由是因為碰到好學的Cyrus Kinnick (Michael Angarano) 

老古好學又慷慨的

文西這就是命

老古戲劇的賣點就是把人逼到絕境

文西然後讓命運之神對他微笑

老古然後一起去海邊曬太陽

文西(突然想到天亮後的事沉默下來)

老古(眼睛閉著似乎陽光太刺眼)

上车,走吧 Mini Bus（2000）

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CMBQfw0xGs

48

4/7 9:23 PM Two Guns (2013), in fact, two betrayals, no, more than two, 11:01 PM quiet night, meant to be, 4/8 12:16 MN soon, retire, to bed, i mean, 4/8 8:13 AM bright sunshine, 2:52 PM H2-2 fever, cough, on foley, CRP 2.55, WBC 7350, 6:24 PM quiet, out there, 9:20 PM of monsters and men, 4/9 11:54 AM ER (2), adm, 5:03 PM take a break, for one hour, 3 consults (CM), tough evening ahead, 4/10 3:05 AM ER 3, adm 3, this time, now, it is near, the end

盲井 (李杨 2003)

https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%9B%B2%E4%BA%95

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmShvrAe9Fw

https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%88%98%E5%BA%86%E9%82%A6   (劉慶邦  b 1951)

Taiwan is again becoming a flashpoint between China and America (The Economist 2018-4-5)

https://www.economist.com/news/asia/21740049-unlike-tensions-over-trade-and-north-korea-it-involves-red-lines-both-sides-taiwan-again

https://www.nownews.com/news/20180406/2730811

see also

http://www.chinatimes.com/newspapers/20180407000439-260119

献给江青妈妈永垂不朽 (河南商丘毛泽东思想群)

https://www.rfa.org/mandarin/yataibaodao/zhengzhi/ql1-04052018111752.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FaK-NuSGwU&t=34s

钟伟峰：美中贸易博弈何以走到今天，将往何处去？(VOA)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCxi1-c6-Ak

Hannah Arendt (1906-1975)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hannah_Arendt

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hannah_Arendt_(film)

1.     Hannah Arendt, Totalitarianism, and the Social Sciences, by Peter Baehr, Stanford University Press, 2010 (questia)

2.     Why Arendt Matters, by Elisabeth Young-Bruehl, Yale University Press, 2006 (questia)

3.     Men in Dark Times, by Hannah Arendt ,Mariner Books, 1970 (scribd)

为什么中共害怕《圣经》传播？迫害基督教的后果是什么！

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEh8PXATcPk

中國糧食危機

http://www.epochtimes.com/b5/17/10/10/n9716739.htm

http://www.epochtimes.com/b5/18/1/1/n10014481.htm

全民反习三部曲：声讨，弹劾和爆料，阻止第二次抗美援朝，避免粮食危机

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaGTbeuth08

see also

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAx0JpFI4Vo

人类命运共同体 (a community with a shared future for mankind)

https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E4%BA%BA%E7%B1%BB%E5%91%BD%E8%BF%90%E5%85%B1%E5%90%8C%E4%BD%93/1096715

http://www.xinhuanet.com/politics/2018-01/24/c_1122305265.htm

http://politics.people.com.cn/n1/2018/0124/c1001-29784322.html

中國製造 2025 (Made in China 2025) (2015-5-8)

https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E4%B8%AD%E5%9B%BD%E5%88%B6%E9%80%A02025

周周侃 | 川普再征1000亿！贸易战升级，中共麻烦大了，能否“不惜一切代价”。5大原因值得关注。

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AST5TKbh3c4

The Week

http://theweek.com/

The Sullivan Institute/Fourth Wall Community: The Relationship of Radical Individualism and Authoritarianism (Amy B. Siskind 2003)

The Sullivan Institute/Fourth Wall community represents one of the most fascinating and troubling social phenomena in the history of psychoanalysis and recent American intellectual history. In the only comprehensive study of the Sullivanian movement, Amy Siskind examines the historical and social processes that resulted in the creation of the Sullivan Institute/Fourth Wall Community and its subsequent development into a totalistic community. Over a 35-year span (1957-1992), the Institute developed from a radical experiment in therapeutic practice, with patients and therapists living together in an innovative community on Manhattan's Upper West Side, into a totalitarian society wherein leaders and therapists maintained enormous institutional and personal power over the lives of patients and group members.

In The Sullivan Institute/Fourth Wall Community: The Relationship of Radical Individualism and Authoritarianism, Siskind explores generally the development of cults based on 20th century social and psychoanalytic theory, and then investigates the particulars of this one community in great detail. The result is a unique exploration of how a movement originally intended to liberate individuals from a repressive society became, over time, more repressive than mainstream society itself. (amazon)

book review

Shaw, D. (2005). Madness and Evil. Contemp. Psychoanal., 41(4):765-773

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zC-Mi5ZYqv2iplhAnzRtnELlnkOTPLJf/view?usp=sharing

see also

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hellraiser (1987)

what's your pleasure sir (therapist)?

The Razor's Edge (Somerset Maugham 1944) with two film versions

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Razor%27s_Edge_(1946_film)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Razor%27s_Edge_(1984_film)

evil

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1d-1xzdmDgQgHYZgP_0n0Kjq174UoOGyK?usp=sharing

從個人的邪惡可以推論群體的邪惡政權的邪惡嗎

The Reproduction of Evil: A Clinical and Cultural Perspective (Sue Grand 2002)

Why is it that victims of abuse so often become perpetrators, and what can psychoanalysis offer to these survivor-perpetrators, whose criminal conduct seems to transcend the possibilities of empathic psychoanalytic inquiry. In The Reproduction of Evil, Sue Grand engages these deeply troublesome issues in the belief that psychoanalysts can and should reclaim the study of what lies beyond ordinary human empathy. Her goal is to elucidate the link between traumatic memory and the perpetration of evil. To this end, she presents an interdisciplinary analysis, at once scholarly and passionate, of the ways in which families and cultures transform victims of malignant trauma into perpetrators of these very traumas on others. Through intensive case studies, Grand draws the reader into the world of the survivor-perpetrators who commit acts of child abuse, of incest, of racial persecution, even of homicide and genocide. By infusing psychoanalytic inquiry with cultural analysis and by supplementing clinical vignettes with well-chosen literary illustrations, Grand is able to convey the survivor-perpetrator's immediacy of experience in a manner that readers may find unsettling, even uncanny. 

By interweaving psychoanalytic, sociohistorical, and literary perspectives, Grand fills a critical lacuna in the literature about trauma and its intergenerational transmission. Her analysis of the psychodynamic processes and cultural tensions that bind perpetrators, victims, and bystanders provides trenchant insights into the violence and fragmentation that beset our society. Essential reading for a wide clinical audience, The Reproduction of Evil will also be powerfully informative for academic and lay readers interested in the intrapsychic, interpersonal, and cultural factors that account for the perpetuation of evil from generation to generation. (amazon)

What Evil Means to Us (Fred Alford 1997)

C. Fred Alford interviewed working people, prisoners, and college students in order to discover how people experience evil―in themselves, in others, and in the world. What people meant by evil, he found, was a profound, inchoate feeling of dread so overwhelming that they tried to inflict it on others to be rid of it themselves. A leather-jacketed emergency medical technician, for example, one of the many young people for whom vampires are oddly seductive icons of evil, said he would "give anything to be a vampire."Drawing on psychoanalytic theory, Alford argues that the primary experience of evil is not moral but existential. The problems of evil are complicated by the terror it evokes, a threat to the self so profound it tends to be isolated deep in the mind. Alford suggests an alternative to this bleak vision. The exercise of imagination―in particular, imagination that takes the form of a shared narrative―offers an active and practical alternative to the contemporary experience of evil. Our society suffers from a paucity of shared narratives and the creative imagination they inspire. (amazon)

The Evil We Do: The Psychoanaysis of Destructive People (Carl Goldberg 2000)

Murder, rape, and atrocity are serious social problems. Yet, despite their persistence, the reasons for deeply destructive behavior still elude contemporary psychological theories. Based on his four decades of clinical experience, humanistic psychoanalyst Dr. Carl Goldberg uses case studies of apparently irredeemable and dangerous people from all walks of life to dramatically demonstrate that even those who have led destructive lives can escape evil and be restored to more hopeful, compassionate, and responsible lives.

Crucial to a probing examination and successful treatment of the dark side of life, Dr. Goldberg shows in his case studies, is addressing important psychological and philosophical issues ignored by contemporary psychologists and psychoanalysts.

The Evil We Do is a book full of telling insights about the most troubling aspects of human nature-knowledge that is essential if American society is ever to deal effectively with the violence that plagues it. (amazon)