72

我今天下午 不要去高雄 要進去勒戒, quiet, silent, smokes, 2015-2017 SP transcripts, maybe a few ernesto spinelli, tcpr on and off, decision of the risk and burden in may, 5/6 show business, 5/10 jr, 5/18 class, 5/19 show business again, 6/9 pm collison (oral / involuntary admission class), 6/15 oral, verdict pending next wk, h4 pending next month, aco to uk aug,

還能剩下甚麼

當關係穿過你

你會變成另一個人

治療者被他的appointment schedule填滿

日以繼夜面對破碎混亂不可理喻絕望毀滅

被他的病人輪番無情穿過

你認為他會變成甚麼

你認為他真的能夠毫髮無傷

我們之前說過

客觀地探究主體性的經驗

是不可能的

治療發生在這個不可能中

我們之前是這麼說的

治療是治療者這個人(therapist’s self)

以己為器用

承載著另一個人的歷史

復對這個承載的困難

有後設的思考

和不退轉的願心

最後這行是我剛剛加上去的

發願很好

但是當他們不歇地穿過你的時候

你還能剩下甚麼

你的願心還能剩下甚麼

現在的我

最想知道的是

剩下的是甚麼

治療者

最近一直想起治療者這個人

他是誰

他為什麼要做治療者

他為什麼認為他能做治療者

他為什麼不再相信他能做治療者卻繼續做

他除了治療之外還有甚麼人生還有甚麼可做

他為什麼不放棄

他為什麼不敢放棄

他為什麼能夠不放棄

他為什麼不酗酒嗑藥

他為什麼不敢承認酗酒嗑藥

他為什麼能夠不酗酒嗑藥

他到底知道甚麼

假如他沒有去過河的對岸

對岸是草莽蒼茫的生命

對岸的人生

是一齣讓你大哭大笑的戲

這岸是馴化成功的好市民

這岸的人生

是一齣正確照表操課的戲

天生的治療者

生在長在對岸的泥沼

他的老家在對岸

他跟這岸的關係

很耐人尋味

我以前是這麼說的

如果還有救贖

救贖發生在

他終於能夠內化某種形上結構的時候

我沒有說

救贖發生在

他在這岸假裝找到

一個畢竟不是家的家

所以讓我們重說一次

他的不堪回首的家在對岸

他知道這岸畢竟不是他的家

他的家在另一個地方(life elsewhere)

以上說明

他為什麼要做治療者

因為他的病人是他冥河的弟兄

治療是擺渡兩岸之間

以至終於可以來到另一個地方

what does therapy mean for self disorders

so that the scarred self, can finally mock the disorder 

他找到的不是秩序

是笑對沒有秩序的能力

Walter Hill (b 1942)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Hill

urban westerns

Stereo Nova - Το Παιχνίδι της Εξουσίας

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrTBpI8l-WA&index=15&list=RDdaGcc5wQZrk

Stereo Nova - Ένα Κλεμμένο Ποδήλατο

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daGcc5wQZrk&list=RDdaGcc5wQZrk&t=33

白手套

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lId3wXiFif0

John Macmurray (1891-1976)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Macmurray

Dream

The Mindbrain and Dreams: An Exploration of Dreaming, Thinking, and Artistic Creation, by Mark J. Blechner, Routledge, April 25, 2018

In The Mindbrain and Dreams: An Exploration of Dreaming, Thinking, and Artistic Creation, Mark J. Blechner argues that the mind and brain should be understood as a single unit–the ‘mindbrain’–which manipulates our raw perceptions of the world and reshapes that world through dreams, thoughts, and artistic creation.

This book explores how dreams are key to understanding mental processes, and how working with dreams clinically with individuals and groups provides an essential route towards achieving transformation within the psychoanalytic process. Covering such key topics as knowledge, emotion, metaphor, and memory, this book sets out a radical new agenda for understanding the importance of dreams in human thought and their clinical importance in psychoanalysis. Blechner builds on his previous work and takes it much further, drawing on the latest neuroscientific findings to set out a new way of how the mindbrain constructs reality, while providing guidance on how best to help people understand their dreams.

The Mindbrain and Dreams: An Exploration of Dreaming, Thinking, and Artistic Creation will appeal to will appeal to psychologists, psychoanalysts, philosophers, and cognitive neuroscientists who want new ways to explore how people think and understand the world. (amazon)

Fairbairn & Co

Thinking Through Fairbairn: Exploring the Object Relations Model of Mind, by Graham S. Clarke, Routledge, 2017

Thinking through Fairbairn offers parallel perspectives on Fairbairn's work. It explores an extended interpretation of his 'psychology of dynamic structure' and applies that model to a number of different areas. Fairbairn's Scottish origins are explored through his relationship with the work of Ian Suttie and Edward Glover.A new extended object relations model of phantasy and inner reality that reflects Fairbairn's approach as represented by his contribution to the Controversial Discussions is also developed. In cooperation with Paul Finnegan, this version of Fairbairn's model is applied to an understanding of multiple personality disorder or dissociative identity disorder. This model is combined with Fairbairn's theory of art to provide an understanding of some 'puzzle' films based in trauma and dissociation. Fairbairn's theory is presented here as a synthesis of classical and relational approaches, and his appropriation by relational theorists as a precursor to exclusively relational approaches challenged. The deep structure of Fairbairn's object relations model is developed through a detailed comparison with Glover's ego-nuclei model. Fairbairn's nuanced view of instinct and affect is investigated and some parallels with neuropsychoanalysis developed. Finally some ways that the developed model might be further enhanced to become a general model are suggested. (amazon)

Personal Relations Theory: Fairbairn, Macmurray and Suttie, by Graham S. Clarke, Routledge, 2006

Personal relationships concern us all, they are essential to our becoming who we are and constitute our most vital experience of what it is like to be alive and human. This book proposes a new approach to understanding who we are based on the work of Ronald Fairbairn, John Macmurray and Ian Suttie, whose ideas provide a positive perspective on our future collective possibilities.

Personal Relations Theory presents a new and comprehensive account of Fairbairn's mature theory. Part I provides a thorough overview of Fairbairn's work and its ramifications for our understanding of creativity and the nature of inner reality. Part II covers Fairbairn's relationship to Macmurray and Suttie, and their relevance to realist philosophy, the scientific status of psychoanalysis, attachment theory and the politics of the personal relations view point. Subjects discussed in depth include:

Internal objects and inner reality: Fairbairn and Klein

Fairbairn's theory of art in the light of his mature model of mind

The preconscious and psychic change in Fairbairn's model of mind

     The politics of attachment theory and personal relations theory: Fairbairn, Suttie and Bowlby

The combination of Fairbairn, Macmurray and Suttie presented here forms an original strand of object relations theory, which has implications and consequences for a wide spectrum of concerns. This book will be of value to anyone interested in psychoanalysis, especially in relation to politics, society and the arts. (amazon)

geographic information system (GIS)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geographic_information_system

GIS and the Social Sciences: Theory and Applications,by Dimitris Ballas, Graham Clarke, Rachel S. Franklin, Andy Newing, Routledge, 2017

now, apparently, this is an accident

Hymn to the Immortal Wind (Full Album) - MONO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbnhjsDI_ho

内涵段子

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAvxXATSY5E

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVRzpw2oMm0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUuhT3nb1NQ

https://buzzorange.com/techorange/2018/04/13/china-taotiao/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aw-ufUS6LRE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-QQwVufsrE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5KV359mZ68

全民围观

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSc8Qbs2FlQ&feature=push-u&attr_tag=L5dXSNDp4Y0RjIFn-6

Letting the Machine Code Qualitative and Mixed Methods Data in NVivo 10

https://www.slideshare.net/ShalinHaiJew/autocoding-by-pattern

大媽跟CB說

我們的網格管理是對付同城小圈的

所以你要注意每一個人的言行舉止

一切都要數位化輸入大數據資料庫

用人工智能找到肉眼看不到的連結

時刻的互動交談都要側錄當成證據

CB說二十戶五六十人

怎麼知道每個人內心想些甚麼

大媽說你要打進群眾

搏取他們的信任

讓他們不知不覺交心

魔鬼藏在細節中

細節藏在每一滴雨水中

你要不停觀察不停紀錄

把每一滴雨水收進海洋

Our Necessary Shadow: The Nature and Meaning of Psychiatry (Tom Burns 2014)

The first attempt in forty years to explain the full subject of psychiatry, from one of the world’s experts.

In what will be a tour de force in the field of psychiatry in all its complexity and depth, this important new volume explores the essential paradox of psychiatry―and offers a balanced understanding of its history and development in the medical world. Much is written about psychiatry, but very little that describes psychiatry itself. Why should there be such a need? For good or ill, psychiatry is a polemical battleground, criticized on the one hand as an instrument of social control, while on the other the latest developments in neuroscience are trumpeted as lasting solutions to mental illness.

Which of these strikingly contrasting positions should we believe? This is the first attempt in a generation to explain the whole subject of psychiatry. in this deeply thoughtful, descriptive, and sympathetic book, Tom Burns reviews the historical development of psychiatry, throughout alert to where psychiatry helps, and where it is imperfect. What is clear is that mental illnesses are intimately tied to what makes us human in the first place. and the drive to relieve the suffering they cause is even more human.

Psychiatry, for all its flaws, currently represents our best attempt to discharge this most human of impulses. it is not something we can just ignore. it is our necessary shadow. (amazon) (accessible via ebooks.com)

透明 (transparency)

你見過透明的陽光嗎

你見過透明的蔚藍的海嗎

你見過透明的權力運作嗎

高達美說Paul Celan的詩

有一種不容含糊的透明

和那個透明後面的準確

佛洛姆說治療者應該是透明的存在

讓穿過你的人可以透明的穿過

乃至第一次找到屬於他自己的透明

回憶和歷史在迷霧中

失智的歷史學家坐在窗前

等待透明的陽光灑進黑夜

拾荒者 (Collector)

最有名的當然是那個

有名的居無定所的

班傑明(Walter Benjamin)

擅長寫aphorism的

尼采和維根斯坦

也算拾荒者罷

Francis Bacon的畫室裡

拾荒著體液和灰塵

意思是說

他的畫布上塗的是體液和灰塵

我一直認為人的思考和存在有兩種可能

一是擁有資料庫方便檢索的那種

一是一無所有把牙刷放進褲袋就可以上路的那種

前者認為結構是當然的存在

後者知道結構是把殘局誤認為結局

兩年後我坐在六千個碎片中

遂知道這個拾荒是殘局不是結局

What Is Hoarding Disorder?

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/hoarding-disorder/what-is-hoarding-disorder

it makes perfect sense, now, i'm quite sure, that i've got this one

The Cinematic Orchestra - Arrival of The Birds & Transformation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n88MReEC27k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GYvLyfa0Lg

"Stay Alive" by José González from the movie THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY (w/ Lyrics)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLbqwZHm3tk

Pink Floyd - Julia Dream (1968)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPBfx4_WT-w

for aco, aka julia

李幺傻

https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E6%9D%8E%E5%B9%BA%E5%82%BB/4782902

https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E4%B8%AD%E5%9B%BD%E5%BC%8F%E9%AA%97%E5%B1%80

http://www.99lib.net/book/5656/index.htm

http://book.dzwww.com/book/6/jianghusanshinian_tianjibukexielu-5614.html

中國在美上市公司80%是空殼

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swgQrpBNFY4

https://www.bannedbook.org/bnews/zh-tw/topimagenews/20180412/927263.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjypA02dtMw

網格管理員查理士布朗遜的一天

CB管轄的地有二十戶

這個小區人口素質很高這點以後大家就知道

隊長是一個和顏悅色的大媽

面試的時候她跟CB說

管這塊地的必須懂質性研究

因為二十這個數量性不好處理

必須懂人類學社會學經濟學政治學心理治療(包括家族治療團體治療)精神分析

必須懂傅柯因為我們就是那個Panopticon

CB說阿姨妳不要擔心

我演過逃出集中營(The Great Escape 1963)

大媽回憶起Steven McQueen和他的棒球摩托車

深情地說唉那是文革前的逃亡呢

回過神來跟CB說你就是那個挖隧道的

CB堅定地說這次我肯定不會讓他們逃出集中營

Everybody Digs (Bill Evans)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRh9kGdYB9I

Milan Kundera (b 1929)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milan_Kundera

Carlo Strenger (b 1958)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlo_Strenger

Sam Vaknin (b 1961)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Vaknin

評習近平在亞洲論壇上的講話

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FvjYSyIm3Q

香港人?中国人?港青年身份认同调查引深思

http://www.dw.com/zh/%E9%A6%99%E6%B8%AF%E4%BA%BA%E4%B8%AD%E5%9B%BD%E4%BA%BA%E6%B8%AF%E9%9D%92%E5%B9%B4%E8%BA%AB%E4%BB%BD%E8%AE%A4%E5%90%8C%E8%B0%83%E6%9F%A5%E5%BC%95%E6%B7%B1%E6%80%9D/a-43339132?&zhongwen=simp

临时演员 (2017)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HA_qmbe-caE

念力 (2018)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dgxf0ZRGK2M

非小說

老古構思一個故事

文西幾個角色

老古台灣沒有偵探小說

文西所以沒有偵探

老古台灣沒有愛情小說

文西所以沒有愛情

老古台灣沒有科幻小說

文西所以沒有科幻

老古台灣沒有冒險小說

文西所以沒有冒險

老古台灣沒有救贖小說

文西所以沒有救贖

老古他媽的我們到底有甚麼

文西我們有沒有故事的故事

老古不妨稱之為非小說

文西非小說的小說

老古角色呢

文西滿街都是

老古情節呢

文西沒有情節

老古結局呢

文西我們確定明天會跟昨天一樣

老古連村上春樹

文西都無言以對

有蚊子睡不著

老古有蚊子睡不著

文西不睡了起來聊聊

老古老習給我們帶來惡劣的影響

文西是揣測上意

老古中國人樂此不疲玩這個把戲玩了幾千年

文西甚至把揣測上意當成揣測天意

老古(微笑)比如說文西我就沒有想要揣測你心裡在想甚麼

文西(斜眼看著老古)你他媽的為什麼要揣測我心裡在想甚麼

老古(微笑)正是所以我們兩人才自由

文西極端帶來極端

老古像是鐘擺

文西物極必反

老古人在這個擺盪中的位置是甚麼

文西多半只能是被它帶著擺盪

老古像是group hysteria

文西比hysteria還糟

老古海德格說過類似的話

文西結果他自己也不能避免被它帶著擺盪

老古現在1:56 AM

文西在這樣安靜的深夜

老古人會被它帶著擺盪嗎

文西這是一個有趣的問題

老古好的文字或音樂

文西會讓你醉

老古不是陶醉

文西是他媽的醉

老古今天四月十二

文西還有十八天就出獄了

老古沒有用的你會懷念會回來這個地獄

文西因為這是唯一的家

老古離不開的家

文西這不是希臘悲劇

老古這是台灣悲劇

文西不這是歹戲拖棚的台灣連續劇

好讀

當經驗超過表述的可能

當它已經成為客觀的存在

意思是說它不要求你回應

因為你回應不回應它都存在

當它無意端出嚴肅的架子

比如說經典權威必讀

當它會讓你驚訝

因為你沒有預期會驚訝

當它會讓你笑

因為喜劇比悲劇更深刻

台灣的問題就是豬哥亮之後

我們都笑不出來了

當它像林中小徑

帶你走進蚊蟲很多的地方

跟自然打成一片

當它無法表列

當它像走累的Matthew Scudder

停下來看著絕望的窗外

當它沒有人推薦寫書評

你與它的相遇純屬意外

當它無法被摘要處理

這表示它超過了摘要的可能

當它不放過你

你必重新讀它

就像是第一次讀它

當它容許你快讀慢讀誤讀

它都沉默不語

以上好讀

可以類推好聽好看

也可類推到人的素質

不是好人壞人的好人

是像給我們帶來好讀的經驗的人的素質

而好的關係

你可以說是兩個好讀的相遇

一部新剧引吐槽 纯正的北京青年什么样？ (2012-8-27)

http://learning.sohu.com/20120827/n351592139.shtml

https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%8C%97%E4%BA%AC%E9%9D%92%E5%B9%B4_(%E7%94%B5%E8%A7%86%E5%89%A7)#cite_note-1

Robert Lowell, Setting the River on Fire: A Study of Genius, Mania, and Character (Kay Redfield Jamison 2017)

In this magisterial study of the relationship between illness and art, the best-selling author of An Unquiet Mind brings a fresh perspective to the life and work of Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Robert Lowell. In his poetry, Lowell put his manic-depressive illness (now known as bipolar disorder) into the public domain, and in the process created a new and arresting language for madness. Here Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison brings her expertise in mood disorders to bear on Lowell’s story, illuminating not only the relationships between mania, depression, and creativity but also how Lowell’s illness and treatment influenced his work (and often became its subject). A bold, sympathetic account of a poet who was—both despite and because of mental illness—a passionate, original observer of the human condition. (amazon) 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kay_Redfield_Jamison  (b 1946)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Lowell  (1917-1977)

Tony Tucker - Blind Man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EN0EmwGRL8w&list=RDEN0EmwGRL8w&t=87

Tony Tucker - The Old Man The Strat and The Swamp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4Xclrqq84o

汪峰《存在》

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vvdu3gkVPMs

中共新保甲制：20戶一網格監控上報

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezYaoBfmOSk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d5G5ruhiBo

http://www.epochtimes.com/b5/18/4/11/n10294795.htm

一標六實

星期三的晚餐

我們的經濟奇蹟裡既有大躍進式的革命運動也有文革式的革命暴力 (十個詞彙裡的中國 余華 2010 頁190)

To put it another way, within China’s success story one can see both revolutionary movements reminiscent of the Great Leap Forward and revolutionary violence that recalls the Cultural Revolution.

Hua, Yu. China in Ten Words (pp. 113-114). Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group. Kindle edition.

問題是大躍進和文革沒有發生過

不信我來問大家華春瑩淺笑盈盈說

誰認為大躍進和文革發生過的舉手

去年還是前年

我終於知道

政治的動力是恨

余華上述的意思是

貪婪的動力也是恨

台灣不缺這種名堂

大陸盛產這種名堂

To Have or to Be (Erich Fromm 1976)

https://giuseppecapograssi.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/erich-fromm-to-have-or-to-be-1976.pdf

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Have_or_to_Be%3F

To Have and Have Not (Ernest Hemingway 1937)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Have_and_Have_Not

http://novelas.rodriguezalvarez.com/pdfs/Hemingway,%20Ernest%20''To%20have%20and%20have%20not''-Xx-En-Sp.pdf


existential stoicism

https://www.enotes.com/topics/have-have-not/themes

From Psycho-Analysis to Culture-Analysis: A Within-Culture Psychotherapy (Marwan Dwairy 2015-7-8)

It puts forward an argument for applying culture analysis, in which the therapist analyses the inconsistencies within the client's culture, before applying psychoanalysis, in which the analyst analyses the intra-psychic conflicts. (amazon) 

iGen (Jean M. Twenge 2017-8-22)

A highly readable and entertaining first look at how today’s members of iGen—the children, teens, and young adults born in the mid-1990s and later—are vastly different from their Millennial predecessors, and from any other generation, from the renowned psychologist and author of Generation Me.

With generational divides wider than ever, parents, educators, and employers have an urgent need to understand today’s rising generation of teens and young adults. Born in the mid-1990s to the mid-2000s and later, iGen is the first generation to spend their entire adolescence in the age of the smartphone. With social media and texting replacing other activities, iGen spends less time with their friends in person—perhaps why they are experiencing unprecedented levels of anxiety, depression, and loneliness.

But technology is not the only thing that makes iGen distinct from every generation before them; they are also different in how they spend their time, how they behave, and in their attitudes toward religion, sexuality, and politics. They socialize in completely new ways, reject once sacred social taboos, and want different things from their lives and careers. More than previous generations, they are obsessed with safety, focused on tolerance, and have no patience for inequality. iGen is also growing up more slowly than previous generations: eighteen-year-olds look and act like fifteen-year-olds used to.

As this new group of young people grows into adulthood, we all need to understand them: Friends and family need to look out for them; businesses must figure out how to recruit them and sell to them; colleges and universities must know how to educate and guide them. And members of iGen also need to understand themselves as they communicate with their elders and explain their views to their older peers. Because where iGen goes, so goes our nation—and the world. (amazon) (kindle 2018-4-11) 

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/09/has-the-smartphone-destroyed-a-generation/534198/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Z

https://baike.baidu.com/item/95%E5%90%8E

电视认罪

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcyL4oVwHMM

Bill Evans Trio I will Say Good Bye

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xElBE7JwJSk

Narcissism and Its Discontents: Diagnostic Dilemmas and Treatment Strategies With Narcissistic Patients (Glen Gabbard, Holly Crisp 2018-4-10)

The definition of narcissism can be a moving target. Is it an excess of self-love? Profound insecurity? Low self-esteem? Too much self-esteem? Because of the multifaceted nature of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), treating this disorder presents clinicians with a range of wholly unique challenges.

Narcissism and Its Discontents recognizes the variable nature of NPD and provides a template for adjusting treatment to the patient rather than shoehorning the patient into a manualized treatment that may prove to be less effectual.

This guide offers clinicians strategies, including transference and countertransference, to deal with the complex situations that often arise when treating narcissistic patients, among them, patient entitlement, disengagement, and envy. The authors provide a skillful integration of research and psychoanalytic theory while also addressing psychotherapeutic strategies that are less intensive but also useful -- being cognizant of the fact that a majority of patients do not have access to psychoanalysis proper.

A chapter on the cultural aspects of narcissism addresses the recent societal fascination with NPD in the discourse on politics and celebrity, particularly in the age of social media. Regardless of the treatment setting -- psychoanalysis, psychotherapy, pharmacotherapy, partial hospital, or inpatient -- clinicians will find a wealth of approaches to treating a diverse and challenging patient population in Narcissism and Its Discontents. (amazon)

Narcissism and Its Discontents (Studies in the Psychosocial) (Julie Walsh 2015)

一針見血！關於中國經濟的十個真相 (馬光遠 2018-4-10)

https://www.bannedbook.org/bnews/zh-tw/topimagenews/20180410/926285.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Q9YAwXtktg

青梅煮酒

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5inUlnieBo

習近平博鰲講話全文

https://www.worldjournal.com/5511149/article-%E7%BF%92%E8%BF%91%E5%B9%B3%E5%8D%9A%E9%B0%B2%E8%AC%9B%E8%A9%B1%E5%85%A8%E6%96%87-%E9%96%8B%E6%94%BE%E9%87%8D%E5%A4%A7%E8%88%89%E6%8E%AA-%E4%B8%8D%E5%AE%9C%E9%81%B2%E4%B8%8D%E5%AE%9C%E6%85%A2/

演講稿寫得很好如果你對中國一無所知你一定被感動